Frustration at finding life partner: thinking of migrating
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I suspect there must be something you didn't do right... It can't be your looks because they already willing to go out with you, so something must be about the way you behave or speak... The only thing I am not very happy about Singaporean girls is the materialistic mentality... personally, I don't really like Singaporean girls but my gf and ex are all Singaporeans and one thing I realize they always like to take money from me because of this or that whatever... I sometimes feel like I am buying a product rather than getting a girlfriend... but in the end 1 girl managed to pass my "tests" just so that i know when in time i become broke or what, she will still be there for me... all those who never pass my "tests", i stop contact with them ler...
one thing i know... Singaporean guys are very much in demand especially overseas. because they have certain atttributes like hard working, taking care of family and stuff like that.
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Originally posted by Bubbamapic:
I am a guy approaching my 30s. I have been trying to find the right girl for me until now I have yet to find. I am not disclosing my race nor my nationality. All I am saying is that where I am - I am not progressing.
1) I went after this girl at church. We went out for few dates. Then she said to me that she is not interested in me and we should be friends. So I agreed. however after I attended a church meeting. Her brother in law didn't like me - when I went in one of their meetings - he slammed the door to my face. And then the some of the church members became very hostile towards me. This made me discouraged to make my first move for fear of being flamed.
2) I met this girl who work for a bank at a church camp. I got her phone number through the address book. I contacted her in effort to make conversation. Then her text messages became more and more longer to reply: sometime 1 day or 2 day. After 3 or 4 calls - she never pick up. I gave up.
3) I attend another church. Met this 25 year old girl. At first she was very nice to me. We chatted. Then she ask me out a few time but unluckily at the time my boss force me to work long hours. I had to say no. Then this other 25 year old guy at the church went after her. She became very show off to me and told me that she want this guy over me. This lady go and bargain high high price at me.
4) I did work two years serving the church. Suddenly this lady - she is in her 40. She suddenly ask me out many many times. At first she needed my help to shift some furniture and escort her to church. So I gentleman escorted her. Then she became more aggressive started asking me out more often. Then the church people also wanted to match make me with her. The church leader go and make a meeting appointment for all church members but nobody turn up except this lady and me. Then she propose we go out together. I turn her down because it starting to make us look like a couple.
I am not interested in lady in (4) because I am looking for a girl who is in her late 20s or at least early 30s - I want to start a family. I got many friend who marry at 35 or 36 with wife of same age now struggling to have babies because of the age. Anyway, I know this 40 year old lady for 1 year, i know I am not interested in her because she is very different from me. Moreover she is older than me. I don't want to marry somebody older than me
5) I met this girl at the office. About 6 month ago. She broke up with her boyfriend. They had an argument and boyfriend gave her a blackeye. So i was so excited to make my move. I decided to chat more with her. At first ok. Then I decided to ask her out. Suddenly some co worker became very hostile at me. They started to mock me. She also became very unfriendly to me and treated one guy at the office better than me. After valentine day - she accepted that guy as her new boyfriend.
At first I pursue her. But she kept avoiding me. She instead delegate one lady to distract me. This lady keep on asking me out. I am not interested in her. Because the lady she delegate to distract me - like to go night club and get drunk. She is quite a drunkerd.
Conclusion:
I am frustrated. So many years here wasted. Cannot find life partner. So hard to find. I go to gym and diet to make myself look good. I dress well. I even go and study MBA to improve my skills. I go and serve in the church. In the end - what do I have to answer for? A 40 year old spinster lady?
On the other hand. My older 40 year old brother who is so so straight guy. He never had girlfriend before. He is so innocent. Apparently he was still a virgin. Then when he migrated to Australia - he met one ang moh lady. Within two week they became a couple. Within 1 year they got married. The ang moh lady even younger than him.
I have been here for 30 years and cannot even find a girlfriend. This is ridiculous. Mankind have existed for over million year and still able to find life partner to continue the human race. Nowaday, woman is getting more affluent. Make it impossible to find life partner.
I am thinking of going to Australia to find life partner. Over here (may not be singapore) it is getting impossible. I am not getting any younger.
Why is it always like this:
1) Why cannot find boy and girl like each other and then progress from there? Instead have to find girl that bargain high price - chase her then always get rejected.
2) Why always I like the girl but the girl don't like me? Ironically those lady I don't like, they like me? And these lady who like me normally are too old (I want to find a lady who is of child bearing age and very important I must have chemistry).
Using similar methodology of changing the 'external' environment will not help very much unless you gain certain insights on what's inside to amend and evolve before things could realistically improve. Attempts made to dress well, look good, beef up in gym are positive improvements. However, then again, these are still external changes to certain extend, which may not be the root of issue you need to resolve to help you move forward.
Then again, it's hard to understand what is require to evolve from within unless you know the real reason why you are constantly rejected (given the fact that nobody here knows you personally). The reality is that we will never know for sure and the only probable way of finding that conclusion is through deep-honest reflection, which may run into problems of seeing things through tinted lens and our individual blind spots.
I have some points for you to think about:
(i) You do seem to be able to secure dates; just that the deal falls through (somehow) after a couple of sessions. Hence, I see this as an interaction, chemistry and/or personality related issues that require 'intervention', which are in fact internal issues.
(ii) Your source of dates comes from the same stream (church). Even though you dated different people, but the environment is largely the same, which means that diversity is limited. Instead of migration, what you could do is to expand this stream beyond that of church. However, this does not change point (i) raise above.
It is natural for some people to be anxious, if they feel that they are not 'achieving' a classic lifespan development of life (e.g. need to have friends, need to be attached, married, have children, etc). It is a matter of your priority and needs at this current stage of life, which other people may not have any problem to begin with in the first place for sympathy to occur. For example, if my skill sets are always in demand and I am constantly employed, it's hard for me to understand what it feels like to be retrenched and unemployed because a fairly bias conclusion I could (not necessary will) make is that this person is probably 'inferior', thus he is eliminated by competition.
Also, you have quite precise expectation of what you want for a partner, but be careful about letting these expectations govern your dating experience when it should be the other way round. It is totally anti-seductive when a woman feels that a man is constantly checking her out based on his expectation of what he wants because in this equation, there is nothing about the woman herself.
Be aware not to transform your needs into a self absorbed imaginary of your own individualism.
Cheers -
Maybe got digging nose bad habit, that is why everyone ran off.
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Originally posted by Yunhaier: Using similar methodology of changing the 'external' environment will not help very much unless you gain certain insights on what's inside to amend and evolve before things could realistically improve. Attempts made to dress well, look good, beef up in gym are positive improvements. However, then again, these are still external changes to certain extend, which may not be the root of issue you need to resolve to help you move forward.
Then again, it's hard to understand what is require to evolve from within unless you know the real reason why you are constantly rejected (given the fact that nobody here knows you personally). The reality is that we will never know for sure and the only probable way of finding that conclusion is through deep-honest reflection, which may run into problems of seeing things through tinted lens and our individual blind spots.
I have some points for you to think about:
(i) You do seem to be able to secure dates; just that the deal falls through (somehow) after a couple of sessions. Hence, I see this as an interaction, chemistry and/or personality related issues that require 'intervention', which are in fact internal issues.
(ii) Your source of dates comes from the same stream (church). Even though you dated different people, but the environment is largely the same, which means that diversity is limited. Instead of migration, what you could do is to expand this stream beyond that of church. However, this does not change point (i) raise above.
It is natural for some people to be anxious, if they feel that they are not 'achieving' a classic lifespan development of life (e.g. need to have friends, need to be attached, married, have children, etc). It is a matter of your priority and needs at this current stage of life, which other people may not have any problem to begin with in the first place for sympathy to occur. For example, if my skill sets are always in demand and I am constantly employed, it's hard for me to understand what it feels like to be retrenched and unemployed because a fairly bias conclusion I could (not necessary will) make is that this person is probably 'inferior', thus he is eliminated by competition.
Also, you have quite precise expectation of what you want for a partner, but be careful about letting these expectations govern your dating experience when it should be the other way round. It is totally anti-seductive when a woman feels that a man is constantly checking her out based on his expectation of what he wants because in this equation, there is nothing about the woman herself.
Be aware not to transform your needs into a self absorbed imaginary of your own individualism.
CheersThis is the most objective and professional advice that is helpful to TS.
Acceptable!
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Uncle, objective and advices are just opinon, if TS dun take it, it is as useless as throwing into shit hole. Opinons is like farting, different opinons, different farking sound, that is all.
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Originally posted by speakoutfor:
No. We are not despo. I am only being practical. Why not? I want to speak for him. It is my right.
You say only...you wait la..very easy to talk. When your son become spinster then only you know. Its call karma.
I just read TS story again. You are again jumping into conclusion. Did he say he went after one after another. I don't know. It could be that he did it in a span of 5 or 8 years. Maybe after this one fail. He wait 1 year and then try. You mean to tell me that if TS fail, then he should go to the cave and never again woo another girl???? I don't see your logic.
Come on, Kitty. What do you expect a guy to do? We are human beings. We need to woo a potential life partner.
We are not frogs whereby we dump our sperm into the pond and then expect the female to lay eggs into the pond to produce tap poles and then abandon the babies.
We are human beings for goodness sake. Guys have to woo girls.
You are being very unfair towards me and TS. Why you see us in so negative light. God teach us to love your neighbour as your love Thyself. Was TS unloyal to his girlfriend/wife? No because he is single. As long he is single he is not betraying anyone. It is natural for a guy to want to start a family because as he age, it is harder to start a family later in life due to economical pressure.
son = male =/= spinster.
look at urself.
worse than a girl.
so long-winded & whiny.
obigood dat u cannot get gf.
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Originally posted by angel7030:
Uncle, objective and advices are just opinon, if TS dun take it, it is as useless as throwing into shit hole. Opinons is like farting, different opinons, different farking sound, that is all.
lao auntie....its definitely better than those who bitch ard with no value at all.... -
Speakoutfor....u dun have to bother them...
jus speak your mind...and decide your own course...
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Originally posted by Yunhaier: Using similar methodology of changing the
'external' environment will not help very much unless you gain
certain insights on what's inside to amend and evolve before things
could realistically improve. Attempts made to dress well, look
good, beef up in gym are positive improvements. However, then
again, these are still external changes to certain extend, which
may not be the root of issue you need to resolve to help you move
forward.
Then again, it's hard to understand what is require to evolve from within unless you know the real reason why you are constantly rejected (given the fact that nobody here knows you personally). The reality is that we will never know for sure and the only probable way of finding that conclusion is through deep-honest reflection, which may run into problems of seeing things through tinted lens and our individual blind spots.
I have some points for you to think about:
(i) You do seem to be able to secure dates; just that the deal falls through (somehow) after a couple of sessions. Hence, I see this as an interaction, chemistry and/or personality related issues that require 'intervention', which are in fact internal issues.
(ii) Your source of dates comes from the same stream (church). Even though you dated different people, but the environment is largely the same, which means that diversity is limited. Instead of migration, what you could do is to expand this stream beyond that of church. However, this does not change point (i) raise above.
It is natural for some people to be anxious, if they feel that they are not 'achieving' a classic lifespan development of life (e.g. need to have friends, need to be attached, married, have children, etc). It is a matter of your priority and needs at this current stage of life, which other people may not have any problem to begin with in the first place for sympathy to occur. For example, if my skill sets are always in demand and I am constantly employed, it's hard for me to understand what it feels like to be retrenched and unemployed because a fairly bias conclusion I could (not necessary will) make is that this person is probably 'inferior', thus he is eliminated by competition.
Also, you have quite precise expectation of what you want for a partner, but be careful about letting these expectations govern your dating experience when it should be the other way round. It is totally anti-seductive when a woman feels that a man is constantly checking her out based on his expectation of what he wants because in this equation, there is nothing about the woman herself.
Be aware not to transform your needs into a self absorbed imaginary of your own individualism.
CheersWah, appearance by you.
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go improve and groom yourself.
You will find the one when you are not desperate. You scare the gals away by being overly desperate.
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Originally posted by Hello Kitty:
son = male =/= spinster.
look at urself.
worse than a girl.
so long-winded & whiny.
obigood dat u cannot get gf.
How you know I am spinster? You know me well?
You simply go say nasty thing without even saying it constructively. Why cannot be longwinded. Politician like Nicole Seah go out there and say thing long winded what.
You seem to be the kind of person hurt by person similar to what you describe.
maybe one day your son will become spinster and you become old old grandma with no grandchildren. maybe your husband will leave you and divorce you. I feel so uber good.
U are worse than a granny. So nasty. Only know how to flame. SO uneducated like gendanken. What is wrong? I like to be whinny. A lot of people are whinny. Lee Kuan Yew is whinny and he can win control of singapore and develop the country. Not like you, total uber loser.
What is wrong with being eager to try to find life partner? You see as if it is despo. You are so hypocrite. You expect the guy to sit down there and do nothing? Ridiculous. I hope one day, whoever who is with you will leave you. Because you are so intolerable, so ridiculous and so lack of understanding. You call yourself kitty but you are a monster. You have so little understanding. I suppose you are very verbally abusive. You are a lousy mother. You most likely verbally abuse your kids. Because if you can say such stupid things, means you have bad character flaw and you make a lousy mother, wife, woman, whatever.
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Originally posted by Gedanken:
Who said anything about a lesson? The ability to learn is a sign of intelligence - thus far you have demonstrated none (remember snipe?), so providing you with a lesson is a fool's errand. Remember, you're the fool, so you might want to waste your time trying to give yourself a lesson.
Well of course you don't get what's funny - after all, he who laughs last is most likely to be the butt of the joke.
You? Take a PhD? I'd be surprised if you got past secondary school - again, you have delusions of adequacy.
Oh, poor bubby - you don't live in Singapore? Never mind - I'm sure geography's no issue for a true-blue despo like you.
Well gee, if I'm already nasty as you say, wouldn't your famous karma already have come along and shown me what for? Like I said, it's bullshit and you've just proven it.
Anyway, being a fellow of neither significant education nor intelligence, you've obviously missed how you've been digging your own grave all evening. Never mind - you've served your purpose providing entertainment for the evening, and maybe by morning the penny will have dropped. Then again, maybe not, and then fun will begin afresh tomorrow.
what entertainment? You are nuts. People are writing serious things here and you are totally childlish. See? You are just coming here and poking ridiculous attacks. It doesn't affect me at all. All i see is a childlish and immature person like you.
On the contrary I don't think you are having any fun at all. I can feel you are in total pain. You are egoistically arrogant and you feel the need to defend your injured pride. Somebody have hurt you so badly in the past that makes you become so negative, so defensive and so despo to attack other people. You are so damn vulnerable. I can feel your misery and hurt miles away.
Again you are nuts. Why suddenly go and say this thing about my education? Who is the uneducated. People here are suppose to post constructive comments not childlish and immature ones like yourse. Where is your education? You are so bent on attacking people. Are you so full of hurt and misery?
Did somebody in the past abused you to make you become this way?
Karma doesn't come immediately.
I can see your fear far far away. Why you react so strongly? Because you fear the karma, that is why. You are so afraid that you try to make yourself sound confident and make yourself sound like you are entertained. But deep down inside - you are trying to appease the gods by trying to justify your arguments with childlish taunts. You are just nothing but an immature kid with full of hurt and abuse. You tryin to hurl abuse at others because you feel it is unfair that you have been hurt and abused yourself.
CHinese calls it fate. Christians call it retribution. Indians call it karma.
See people like Gadaffi and Saddam Hussein - that is karma. You are next to join them. In hell.
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Originally posted by speakoutfor:
See people like Gadaffi and Saddam Hussein - that is karma. You are next to join them. In hell.
What about Bush and Blair? Will they go to hell?
Bush, Blair are war criminals, court says
http://www.onlinenews.com.pk/details.php?id=186201
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Originally posted by Fcukpap:
Speakoutfor....u dun have to bother them...
jus speak your mind...and decide your own course...
I feel I have to defend myself. Gendanken is so full of hurt and misery. Don't give face to this person. Gendanken is nothing but a coward. Gendanken only dares to flame people in the forum because gendanken knows that he/she doesn't have to face the people. In real life, gendanken is a coward, not dare to stand up to others - always get bullied. So gendanken creates an artificial ego here to stand up for his/her beaten pride. -
Originally posted by Dalforce 1941:
What about Bush and Blair? Will they go to hell?
Bush, Blair are war criminals, court says
http://www.onlinenews.com.pk/details.php?id=186201
Blair was push out of labor party. Bush left USA presidency with one of the worst legacy in US history.
There is always justice in the world - if not this world - it is the next life.
Don;t worry. They have bounfiful punishment when they go to their next life.
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Originally posted by speakoutfor:
Don;t worry. They have bounfiful punishment when they go to their next life.
I think Bush and Blair should be put on trial as war criminals and executed for starting illegal war against Iraq.
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Originally posted by Dalforce 1941:
I think Bush and Blair should be put on trial as war criminals and executed for starting illegal war against Iraq.
There is a bigger court than hague. You don't believe that bush and blair one day will face judgment day in heaven to be sent to hell? -
Originally posted by TehJarVu:
if aunt agony is for people to seek help
if u don't have anything better to say
fuck off
Precisely !So gendanken - u know what to do.
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Originally posted by Gedanken:
Ah, it was only a matter of time before common sense broke out. Then again, this is Aunt Agony – the rules of average intellect here seem to have done a decent imitation of rats on a sinking ship.
The obvious point has been voiced here by soleachip – it’s obvious enough from posts by both the OT and SOF that they’re blighted by the same afflict- … um, that they share perspectives.
KB, on the other hand, has scored a hole in one – it’s the creep factor, and “some point” would most likely be “right off the bat”, if this thread is any reflection of how things go with these types. I didn’t even have to push any buttons (lightly brushed said buttons is a more accurate description), and SOF already flies off the handle, getting all antsy and self-righteous, calling upon karma to teach evildoers a lesson like the very virtuous soul that he is. Come on – if you don’t know a guy from a bar of soap and he comes off stronger than a mouth full of garlic, what’s the reasonable course of action?
It’s pretty obvious why these guys have a piss-poor batting average.
Why? The karma is getting to you. Isn't it?Poor battling average? If you are so damn good. Why are you here. Posting off insults and judging other people like you are so darn good. Only people like you are worse off than us or TS. You are so full of hatred and misery and bitterness. Go and share your hurt somewhere else. I am not interested to hear you massage your hurt and injured pride.
Have you seen yourself in the mirror lately? Have you checked your batting average? You don't go and tell us - you are a person without problems of your own? From what i read - i can see that you are very ugly person (inside and outside). Nobody can stand your personality. I bet your family hates you. I bet you have no friends. Because you are a smart alec with so many defects. The only creep here is you. Your neediness to massage your pride, creeps us all.
Don't call the teapot black when you are the kettle so black.
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Originally posted by soleachip:
Quite right. And I just realized threadstarter posted his agony and disappeared! Why would SOF feel obligated to endure all this bashing unless he is projecting? Poor thing...
Huh? Am I being bashed? I don't even notice it? What so poor about that? You talking about gendanken - the immature child? Is that being bashed? I see so much hurt and pain radiating from that dude gendanken - i feel pity for that organism.I like to defend other people. I am just those Kantian types who want to defend people. I am a guy and I can relate to this guy. What is wrong with that? You can suspect what you like - you have that right. Sorry to disappoint you - you poor thing, you misunderstood - I am not TS.
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Originally posted by speakoutfor:
Why? The karma is getting to you. Isn't it?Poor battling average? If you are so damn good. Why are you here. Posting off insults and judging other people like you are so darn good. Only people like you are worse off than us or TS. You are so full of hatred and misery and bitterness. Go and share your hurt somewhere else. I am not interested to hear you massage your hurt and injured pride.
Have you seen yourself in the mirror lately? Have you checked your batting average? You don't go and tell us - you are a person without problems of your own? From what i read - i can see that you are very ugly person (inside and outside). Nobody can stand your personality. I bet your family hates you. I bet you have no friends. Because you are a smart alec with so many defects. The only creep here is you. Your neediness to massage your pride, creeps us all.
Don't call the teapot black when you are the kettle so black.
You are actually quite right about a lof of these people who flamed you.
Hello Kitty is a closet gay pretending to be a girl here, he is a poly student and goes around thinking he is a princess and will trample on anyone or thing he thinks is/are more inferior than him. So just ignore this one cus he is basically a standup comic with no substance.
Gedanken is a married guy with white wife in Australia. Struggled like shit but end up going nowhere in his life. To pay for his "expensive" panty droppers, he had no choice but to suck up to his white boss and hostile co-workers to make a living. Top it all off, his white wife doesn't want kids with him. ( due to his inferior genes perhaps ?)
So, yes, these people are very bitter about life, and the only way they can feel good about them-self is to come here and garang bash unsuspecting people like you.
After they log off from SGforum, they need to put on that fake smile and act all well mannered to others who really don't give a shit about them.
Of cors, you'll see, they'll claim they are so "popular" in real life. Too bad they didn't know it wasn't because they are nice. It's just that their friend's are the ones being kind to them.
Now do yourself a favor, don't waste your time getting pissed with these lot of sad sods.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
You are actually quite right about a lof of these people who flamed you.
Hello Kitty is a closet gay pretending to be a girl here, he is a poly student and goes around thinking he is a princess and will trample on anyone or thing he thinks is/are more inferior than him. So just ignore this one cus he is basically a standup comic with no substance.
Gedanken is a married guy with white wife in Australia. Struggled like shit but end up going nowhere in his life. To pay for his "expensive" panty droppers, he had no choice but to suck up to his white boss and hostile co-workers to make a living. Top it all off, his white wife doesn't want kids with him. ( due to his inferior genes perhaps ?)
So, yes, these people are very bitter about life, and the only way they can feel good about them-self is to come here and garang bash unsuspecting people like you.
Now do yourself a favor, don't waste your time getting pissed with them. OK ? Good.
is turned on by the stuff u said....expensive pants dropper. -
i have yet to see anything that leads to the way of the future in oz really.
most here mainly are those carpenters,apprenticeship folks that go thru something what a condemned criminal or orphan would do in spore and policemen.other than that its pretty shitty industry here.plus its burning hot....i doubt anyone could work at 32C indoors or in the shade.outside its like 35C in summer time.
i have seen that they do have high tech industries from tv,some using robots but they are making stuff thsat are not economically viable and would close down in less than 5 years.the rest that are high tech would be in universities.in spore most industries are using high tech to produce profits every day whiles thes aussies are merely wasting it daily.its alright.they only have 10 folks to keep the high tech unit functioning with zero profits or negligible growth every day,month n year for last 20 years .in spore,most industries are already making profits using those high tech stuff daily.
if you do not have any decent tech skills that u can build on be it programming software for industrial grade robots or building a jet engine and having the company with your name on the comoany itself.......u could end up dealig with a vietnamese gang or yakuza group. worse is u end up sucking up to know nothing rednecks whose only technology they know is a makita drill,a welding machine and using a tape measure to align something which needs 0.1mm precision in order to function properly.
all in all.dont kill yerself over these folks.not worth it .
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Originally posted by Hitman Chief:
i have yet to see anything that leads to the way of the future in oz really.
most here mainly are those carpenters,apprenticeship folks that go thru something what a condemned criminal or orphan would do in spore and policemen.other than that its pretty shitty industry here.plus its burning hot....i doubt anyone could work at 32C indoors or in the shade.outside its like 35C in summer time.
if you do not have any decent tech skills that u can build on be it programming software for industrial grade robots or building a jet engine and having the company with your name on the comoany itself.......u could end up dealig with a vietnamese gang or yakuza group. worse is u end up sucking up to know nothing rednecks whose only technology they know is a makita drill,a welding machine and using a tape measure to align something which needs 0.1mm precision in order to function properly.
all in all.dont kill yerself over these folks.not worth it .
If I am in Australia, I'd just buy a big plot of land and become a farmer. Just sayin... I've only been to Australia as a tourist so please take that with a pinch of salt.
When you go into these foreign lands, it's either they own you, or you own them.
If you have what they want, you don't have to beg. You can barter.
If they have what you want, they'll own your ass. So don't depend on them to make a living.
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Australia a lot of racism issues....migrating there is definitely not worth it....><"
The problem with TS is no money la....u no money in sg...look for women sure problem i tell u....money toks here....><"