Totally broken after gf ended 3yr+ r/s.

• angel7030

  28 Nov 11, 18:48

  Hello, the series 爱 is already over, so please do not drag on, 3 years ++ is nothing, at least you have your fun already, physically, girl like we suffer more when a relationship end, but when thing cannot work out, we tend to let it go, no reason given, hope TS understand. There are couple who took 30 years to understand each other and get divorced, so what is 3 years??

• Hitman Factory 1

  28 Nov 11, 18:50

  porn looks great after many years!no signs of ageing!

• angel7030

  28 Nov 11, 18:52

  Should find a day to play ping pong with my Uncle

• alize

  28 Nov 11, 19:31

  Originally posted by Hitman Factory 1:

  porn looks great after many years!no signs of ageing!

  Everyone here has a real relationship, you just talk about porn. Wanker.

• angel7030

  29 Nov 11, 18:23

  Well, some live with money, some live with love and some live for sex, gf and bf, having to live with porn like my uncle hitman is actually not bad, you do not disturb others nor bother others and hurt nobody.

• Yunhaier

  30 Nov 11, 23:55

  Originally posted by risou:

  I'm 29 now, she's 27.

  I was there for her when she broke up with her ex (of 7yrs), 3.5yrs ago. I was there when she decided to change her job, when her favourite pet died, when she got a chronic illness and got depression due to that. I did everything I could to make her feel loved, to be one to solve her problems, to travel via cab when going out because she needs alot of rest, because she gets fatigued easily, leading to more pain. To accompany her even if it meant travelling to and fro, myself often reaching home late.

  She struggled with her pain and depression, when nobody seemed to understand what it means to be in her shoes. It is tough on her. I thought I was on the right track or at least was close to it.

  She ended the r/s a month ago. Her friends and colleagues and mum and doc took her side. I know I had my failings, failings which to me could be made right given some time. But not to her, someone who thinks alot about things and usually makes negative assumptions on them, as much as I had tried to inject some positivity to her.

  I am totally broken now. She has blocked me on social media. She now has her colleagues and friends' support. I don't really have any.

  I really don't know what to do. My entire life revolved around her. There's nothing in my life except working, eating and sleeping now. Almost everything that I see and use are related to her in some way.

  I NEED HELP. PLEASE HELP.

   When you have position your entire life around a transitory figure, naturally, you are bound to be on the road to emotional destruction. It is not the risky preposition you have adopted in an absolute sense, but rather, the concept of giving yourself up (inclusive of your personal self worth) has a drastic reduction of social value, which would often transform you into 'something else' other than the guy she first knew.

  When you play the role of a boyfriend, you must understand that that is not a nurse, maid or personal assistant; the intensity of your love & care might come across as potentially choking.

  Though it may appear that your writings seemed to suggest that you are more positive, subconsciously, you are likely to be negative (probably similar or worst). The seeming positive facade is somewhat ingeniously masks through overcompensating care and concern while the real insecurity nest within the core. If you were to be bluntly honest to yourself, you might actually realize that probably you care more about having to accomplish the final step to your next phase of life instead of your ex-gf per se.

  Your post does not reveal anything about your stated 'failings', other than a string of narcissistic perception. Perhaps, you could post - not what you have done for her - but her chief considerations to call it quit. The picture would then be clearer. 

  P.S: You might have lost the relationship, but you could still keep those lessons.

  Cheers

• angel7030

  1 Dec 11, 09:50

  Use simple english lah, this is a layman forum you know, not Harvard psychology forum, as a mod, you should know

• mancha

  1 Dec 11, 10:27

  Simply put TS is trying to be a do-gooder, without fully understanding the implications of caring for a person who needs lots of medical attention most probably through her life.

  The girl also maybe don't want to impose on TS her malady.

• benqepson

  1 Dec 11, 18:17

  move on bro. Starts life afresh. 

• [imdestinyz]

  2 Dec 11, 10:03

  Originally posted by Yunhaier:

   When you have position your entire life around a transitory figure, naturally, you are bound to be on the road to emotional destruction. It is not the risky preposition you have adopted in an absolute sense, but rather, the concept of giving yourself up (inclusive of your personal self worth) has a drastic reduction of social value, which would often transform you into 'something else' other than the guy she first knew.

  When you play the role of a boyfriend, you must understand that that is not a nurse, maid or personal assistant; the intensity of your love & care might come across as potentially choking.

  Though it may appear that your writings seemed to suggest that you are more positive, subconsciously, you are likely to be negative (probably similar or worst). The seeming positive facade is somewhat ingeniously masks through overcompensating care and concern while the real insecurity nest within the core. If you were to be bluntly honest to yourself, you might actually realize that probably you care more about having to accomplish the final step to your next phase of life instead of your ex-gf per se.

  Your post does not reveal anything about your stated 'failings', other than a string of narcissistic perception. Perhaps, you could post - not what you have done for her - but her chief considerations to call it quit. The picture would then be clearer. 

  P.S: You might have lost the relationship, but you could still keep those lessons.

  Cheers

  
  man i love ur advices... really good

• DRC

  2 Dec 11, 10:05

  To TS,

  I understand the pain and hurt you are going through, the effort, the time. Question is does the person cares? Sadly to say I ever ask the ladies how do they really feel about people like us who give so much, the answer were very shocking. Here are a few of them.

  1) The guys who treat us well are dumb and stupid, I never asked them to do it what, they are just willing parties who is only useful at that point of time.

  2) What those type of guys are the most useless type, I just treat them like dirt and they will treat me like a princess.

  3) These guys are so ugly, I only using them temp to get what I want. Then dump them asap before they expect anything in return.

  4) Why borther with them? They suck and are only useful when the one you love dumps you and they are always there for the rebound.

  5) They are only useful if the love of my life dumps me and the dump guy will take care of me with the and the unborn baby.

  There are more nasty answers which I have heard, which are more shocking and too damaging to be put up here.

  Question for TS: Are you sure that the gal you like is not using you as these girls did? Yes you can deny but facts of reality shows that she has dumped you after your efforts.

• mancha

  2 Dec 11, 10:17

  Some people are honest with themselves, boys or girls.

  They ask themselves earnestly, "Is this the person I want to spend the rest of my life with?" Should the answer turn out to be a "No". The relationship come to an abrupt end.

  Many who are beholden to the time and effort consideration, end up committed to a poor relationship.

• Hitman Assembly

  6 Dec 11, 17:17

  Originally posted by DailyFreeGames.com:

  
  You are RIGHT, same people attract same type of people, no wonder jojobeach attracts all the bangla who like to bang walls and drink pee... hmmm..

  
  Haha, I very agree ! Jojo is so negative. Her relatives hate her so much, all want to beg her for money and free ride on her. No wonder she is a magnet for negative people.

  Jojo is the Kettle calling the teapot black.

• Bio-Hawk

  7 Dec 11, 15:22

  Originally posted by risou:

  I'm 29 now, she's 27.

  I was there for her when she broke up with her ex (of 7yrs), 3.5yrs ago. I was there when she decided to change her job, when her favourite pet died, when she got a chronic illness and got depression due to that. I did everything I could to make her feel loved, to be one to solve her problems, to travel via cab when going out because she needs alot of rest, because she gets fatigued easily, leading to more pain. To accompany her even if it meant travelling to and fro, myself often reaching home late.

  She struggled with her pain and depression, when nobody seemed to understand what it means to be in her shoes. It is tough on her. I thought I was on the right track or at least was close to it.

  She ended the r/s a month ago. Her friends and colleagues and mum and doc took her side. I know I had my failings, failings which to me could be made right given some time. But not to her, someone who thinks alot about things and usually makes negative assumptions on them, as much as I had tried to inject some positivity to her.

  I am totally broken now. She has blocked me on social media. She now has her colleagues and friends' support. I don't really have any.

  I really don't know what to do. My entire life revolved around her. There's nothing in my life except working, eating and sleeping now. Almost everything that I see and use are related to her in some way.

  I NEED HELP. PLEASE HELP.

  You don't need help, just a smack to wake you up to reality.

  1) Don't let life revolve around 1 girl,ever.

  2) Don't be a puppy/sugar daddy/understanding/sympathising man.It's an uttern turn off for woman. This job is left to other female friends,not for a man.

  3) Read 'the game' from Neil strauss.

  4) Get drunk,njoy life, bang a few chicks get over her.

  5) Don't repeat this again, ever.

  6)Next time when you are with a girl, lay her and fcuk her. Don't be a sympathy sponge. I am sure, you were a nice understanding guy,so never took advantage of a poor girl. THAT IS WHY IT HAPPENED. Now there is another guy who she is sexually attracted to.Don't bother checking all girls will deny it.

  7)Don't listen to opinions/advice of other females,will never work. Especially stay away from jojobeach's opinion.

  8)Move on.

   

• Bio-Hawk

  7 Dec 11, 15:23

  Originally posted by DRC:

  To TS,

  I understand the pain and hurt you are going through, the effort, the time. Question is does the person cares? Sadly to say I ever ask the ladies how do they really feel about people like us who give so much, the answer were very shocking. Here are a few of them.

  1) The guys who treat us well are dumb and stupid, I never asked them to do it what, they are just willing parties who is only useful at that point of time.

  2) What those type of guys are the most useless type, I just treat them like dirt and they will treat me like a princess.

  3) These guys are so ugly, I only using them temp to get what I want. Then dump them asap before they expect anything in return.

  4) Why borther with them? They suck and are only useful when the one you love dumps you and they are always there for the rebound.

  5) They are only useful if the love of my life dumps me and the dump guy will take care of me with the and the unborn baby.

  There are more nasty answers which I have heard, which are more shocking and too damaging to be put up here.

  Question for TS: Are you sure that the gal you like is not using you as these girls did? Yes you can deny but facts of reality shows that she has dumped you after your efforts.

  Read it a few times, swallow your pride and learn from it.

• Hitman Goldilocks

  8 Dec 11, 16:53

  No spam

• alize

  9 Dec 11, 22:47

  Originally posted by Yunhaier:

   When you have position your entire life around a transitory figure, naturally, you are bound to be on the road to emotional destruction. It is not the risky preposition you have adopted in an absolute sense, but rather, the concept of giving yourself up (inclusive of your personal self worth) has a drastic reduction of social value, which would often transform you into 'something else' other than the guy she first knew.

  When you play the role of a boyfriend, you must understand that that is not a nurse, maid or personal assistant; the intensity of your love & care might come across as potentially choking.

  Though it may appear that your writings seemed to suggest that you are more positive, subconsciously, you are likely to be negative (probably similar or worst). The seeming positive facade is somewhat ingeniously masks through overcompensating care and concern while the real insecurity nest within the core. If you were to be bluntly honest to yourself, you might actually realize that probably you care more about having to accomplish the final step to your next phase of life instead of your ex-gf per se.

  Your post does not reveal anything about your stated 'failings', other than a string of narcissistic perception. Perhaps, you could post - not what you have done for her - but her chief considerations to call it quit. The picture would then be clearer. 

  P.S: You might have lost the relationship, but you could still keep those lessons.

  Cheers

  He was hardly counting on her to turn out as a transitory figure.

• angel7030

  10 Dec 11, 08:47

  Originally posted by Hitman Goldilocks:

  <!-- centralNotice loads here -->

  No spam

  
  Wee! here come papa bear

• angel7030

  10 Dec 11, 08:50

  Originally posted by Hitman Assembly:

  
  Haha, I very agree ! Jojo is so negative. Her relatives hate her so much, all want to beg her for money and free ride on her. No wonder she is a magnet for negative people.

  Jojo is the Kettle calling the teapot black.

  Kettle?? now still got use kettle meh??

• angel7030

  10 Dec 11, 08:52

  Originally posted by mancha:

  Some people are honest with themselves, boys or girls.

  They ask themselves earnestly, "Is this the person I want to spend the rest of my life with?" Should the answer turn out to be a "No". The relationship come to an abrupt end.

  Many who are beholden to the time and effort consideration, end up committed to a poor relationship.

  
  Simple advice is, in Love, you need two hands to clap, if there is only one hand, there is nothing to clap and nothing to love about. A diamond is forever, love is not forever.

  That is why I use to take the diamond and leave the love alone.

• troublemaker2005

  10 Dec 11, 21:01

  angel, maybe 1 hand cannot clap but still can love . . .right?

   

  to make sound one hand can slap the buttocks, or elsewhere so its call one handed love

• Sandy17sandy17

  13 Dec 11, 00:23

  You might want to read this for reference..Making Pink lemonade. I just finished the author's real life account of an incident..a little similar to yr gf.

  www.makingpinklemonade.com hope it helps

  hmm...you know,if she is really sick....she can't rationalise well..so these irrational requests..shld be understandable. If you love her, just go for it.Stay by her side in this difficult time

• Gege Wu

  13 Dec 11, 16:56

  你都29�了。

  正常的感情，两个人互相需�和互相支�以�互相欣�。

  你的激情，你对她的喜爱，你全心全�的付出，这样的感情是�公平的；

  而且她�会�惜你，�会欣�你；

  而且，最��的，你也��能这样���一辈�。你也会累，也会需�有人照顾，有人欣�，在你辛苦的时候有人安慰你。

  更何况，当建立了一个家庭，你们�能会有�孩，身上的责任就更�了。

  如果已�付出了，没有得到相应的回报，但是你曾�付出过，快�过。

  路看的远一些，因为人生很长，还有好多东西值得我们付出和去争�。

  �样的，等这段痛苦的时期过去，�然，有那么一天，碰到一个会欣�你的人，你会�识到，幸��的很简�。

  感情就是这样，也许是上辈�的缘分。常常是，你爱我，我�爱他。能够�到，爱时全心全�，一心一�，那就够了，至少�会未曾�未努力而�悔。但是若已�尽力了，�未果，那就说明�是对的人。 等你碰到对的人，你会�现，很多问题其实根本�是问题。

   

  �看开一些。

• Gege Wu

  13 Dec 11, 16:56

  你都29�了。

  正常的感情，两个人互相需�和互相支�以�互相欣�。

  你的激情，你对她的喜爱，你全心全�的付出，这样的感情是�公平的；

  而且她�会�惜你，�会欣�你；

  而且，最��的，你也��能这样���一辈�。你也会累，也会需�有人照顾，有人欣�，在你辛苦的时候有人安慰你。

  更何况，当建立了一个家庭，你们�能会有�孩，身上的责任就更�了。

  如果已�付出了，没有得到相应的回报，但是你曾�付出过，快�过。

  路看的远一些，因为人生很长，还有好多东西值得我们付出和去争�。

  �样的，等这段痛苦的时期过去，�然，有那么一天，碰到一个会欣�你的人，你会�识到，幸��的很简�。

  感情就是这样，也许是上辈�的缘分。常常是，你爱我，我�爱他。能够�到，爱时全心全�，一心一�，那就够了，至少�会未曾�未努力而�悔。但是若已�尽力了，�未果，那就说明�是对的人。 等你碰到对的人，你会�现，很多问题其实根本�是问题。

   

  �看开一些。

• M874

  13 Dec 11, 17:16

  u need time, at first u will feel at loss, and dunno what to do, and feel sad everyday, but later u will feel better.