i slapped my boyfriend
-
let bygones be bygones
-
after so many posts TS still hvnt tell full story...
-
did u get scarred by him?
how can he splash HOT water on you..
it is not good to use violence.. it can lead to serious damages.
but if he did splash hot water on u first
And you slap him, it is a natural reaction..
well done, U did a good job to slap him!
u should have slap harder!
heehee! -
Please don't paint a mountain out of a mole hill , OK ? The world is not coming to an end yet. We are not talking about criminal intimidation.Originally posted by cloud210:If every girl abuses the fact they are the "weaker" sex, I'm certain most man is willing to give up their gift of physical strength and grow a womb. There are many things in the world that are more torturing than physical violence, emotional abuse is one of them.
Some woman just think their vagi** owns every other di** and vagi**.
If your gf is running after you yielding a chopper or a chainsaw, I suggest you RUN, call 999 and hide.
I ain't no law enforcer, but I think there is something about classifying some actions as "self defense".
Yes, if EVERYY girl abuses the weaker sex theory comes true, then all men will be slaves.
Has reality knock on your door yet ? I doubt it.
Have you ever seen a chihuahua attack an Alsatian ?
I did, and it was pathetic case of a weaker breed fighting a much stronger breed.
Given this case, TS doesn't have a weapon, but her bf obviously does ( hot water), else he won't use it to threaten her. -
Rainee and Angel,
May I know if either of you ever been in an abusive relationship ?
I have.
The problem here is, when you walk away from his threats, he believes you are afraid and is not able to retaliate.
Believing that he can actually subdue you with such act, he will use it again the next time similar scenario arises.
To shut you up, he will tell you that he will hurt you, and you walk away, quietly.
It was until I finally fought back, that he stop. Because he knows there are consequence to pay. A repercussion to consider.
So, as much as you don't approve with fighting violence with violence, trust me, it is a necessary evil.
And yes, it all started with verbal intimidation.
So to Petti,
If you havn't done it yet, it is time you walk away from the RELATIONSHIP, not just walk away from him. -
So you'r saying women use violence against violence is right, men use is wrong?Originally posted by jojobeach:So, as much as you don't approve with fighting violence with violence, trust me, it is a necessary evil.
Is violent retaliation the only way a man can use to deal with a woman trying to take advantage ? If you sit down and think, there are many.
Against your abusive relationship, if you sit down and think, there are many ways you can deal with a man trying to take advantage?
This is one way, just change the "gf" -> bf and "chopper or a chainsaw" -> hot waterOriginally posted by jojobeach:If your gf is running after you yielding a chopper or a chainsaw, I suggest you RUN, call 999 and hide.
Unless the bf was already holding a cup of hot water, I don't think slapping him is regarded as self defense, TS has not specified is he holding one at that time.Originally posted by jojobeach:I ain't no law enforcer, but I think there is something about classifying some actions as "self defense".
Have you ever seen a chihuahua attack an Alsatian ?
I did, and it was pathetic case of a weaker breed fighting a much stronger breed.
So you've seen, I've not seen, you're definitely right, i'm definitely wrong? You being in an abusive relationship before makes you more superior/expert than angel or rainee? I'm not questioning your experience, seriously none of us wouldn't want to go through what you've seen or been. You seemed to be very proud of what you've seen and been through and use it to put down others.
If the chihuahua attacks the alsatian because the alsatian pose a immediate threat, the attack is valid, win or loss is another story. If chihuahua attacks because he don't like that alsatian face, i'll say the chihuahua is stupid. Whether it is a win or loss, i believe the chihuahua should have accessed his opponent. Seriously, if the odds is severely against you, why would you want to attack head on?
There are many ways TS can do, like sue him for threatening and emotional damage or run, call 999 and hide when the cup of hot water is already on his hands like what jojobeach said. Impose a restriction order, to not let TS bf come close to her on the basis of him threatening TS.
I support Angel and rainee suggestions because they showed a higher moral, maturity and calmness in handling situations. TS is only heading for trouble with the law when she slap her bf. Even if TS don't get scalded by the hot water, she is on the way to an offence of assault. I believe the threat made by TS's bf is just to spike her, to allow her to make such a mistake.
And lastly, like jojobeach says, you should have walked away from the relationship. Use the law if such another scenario arises, this is the way to protect yourself. -
Woah~Originally posted by cloud210:Unless the bf was already holding a cup of hot water, I don't think slapping him is regarded as self defense, TS has not specified is he holding one at that time.
So you've seen, I've not seen, you're definitely right, i'm definitely wrong? You being in an abusive relationship before makes you more superior/expert than angel or rainee? I'm not questioning your experience, seriously none of us wouldn't want to go through what you've seen or been. You seemed to be very proud of what you've seen and been through and use it to put down others.
If the chihuahua attacks the alsatian because the alsatian pose a immediate threat, the attack is valid, win or loss is another story. If chihuahua attacks because he don't like that alsatian face, i'll say the chihuahua is stupid. Whether it is a win or loss, i believe the chihuahua should have accessed his opponent. Seriously, if the odds is severely against you, why would you want to attack head on?
There are many ways TS can do, like sue him for threatening and emotional damage or run, call 999 and hide when the cup of hot water is already on his hands like what jojobeach said. Impose a restriction order, to not let TS bf come close to her on the basis of him threatening TS.
I support Angel and rainee suggestions because they showed a higher moral, maturity and calmness in handling situations. TS is only heading for trouble with the law when she slap her bf. Even if TS don't get scalded by the hot water, she is on the way to an offence of assault. I believe the threat made by TS's bf is just to spike her, to allow her to make such a mistake.
And lastly, like jojobeach says, you should have walked away from the relationship. Use the law if such another scenario arises, this is the way to protect yourself.
Here, give you a prize for being so hot blooded and combative.
If you insist, based on your assumption, you win, you are right.
I was wrong, me bad, me lousy. OK?
Actually, I wasn't proud , more like pain. Happy ? -
apologise to us for what. go apologise to your bf if you mean it.
but really la. slapping him was really over the line. i'm not sure what happened between you two, but if you weren't happy in the relationship, or if you felt physically threatened, you should have just ended it.
not resort to violence. -
Aiya the r/s also over liao, don't think so muchOriginally posted by jojobeach:Actually, I wasn't proud , more like pain. Happy ?
-
slap (slept) , slap (slept) more !!!
-
Luckily none of my SOs abused me physically yet so far, but I have been in an abusive family since I was young. But thank goodness my family has realized their wrongdoings and have stopped the abuse recently...partly because I have grown up and am doing my bits to support the family...Originally posted by jojobeach:Rainee and Angel,
May I know if either of you ever been in an abusive relationship ?
I have.
The problem here is, when you walk away from his threats, he believes you are afraid and is not able to retaliate.
Believing that he can actually subdue you with such act, he will use it again the next time similar scenario arises.
To shut you up, he will tell you that he will hurt you, and you walk away, quietly.
It was until I finally fought back, that he stop. Because he knows there are consequence to pay. A repercussion to consider.
So, as much as you don't approve with fighting violence with violence, trust me, it is a necessary evil.
And yes, it all started with verbal intimidation.
So to Petti,
If you havn't done it yet, it is time you walk away from the RELATIONSHIP, not just walk away from him.
Even if you are in an abusive relationship, you can't solve the problem by hitting the other party back. And I agree, the best thing for petti to do would be to walk away from the guy. When he threatens her, just walk away and ignore him. Don't need to resort to physical retaliation, girls will always lose out when it comes to fighting physically with guys...
If he still keeps making verbal threats to her, she can report it to the police or get help from someone she trusts to ward that guy off...but the first step is definitely to break up completely from this relationship. -
Actually, I was trying to end that relationship, that's when the physical abuse started.Originally posted by rainee:Luckily none of my SOs abused me physically yet so far, but I have been in an abusive family since I was young. But thank goodness my family has realized their wrongdoings and have stopped the abuse recently...partly because I have grown up and am doing my bits to support the family...
Even if you are in an abusive relationship, you can't solve the problem by hitting the other party back. And I agree, the best thing for petti to do would be to walk away from the guy. When he threatens her, just walk away and ignore him. Don't need to resort to physical retaliation, girls will always lose out when it comes to fighting physically with guys...
If he still keeps making verbal threats to her, she can report it to the police or get help from someone she trusts to ward that guy off...but the first step is definitely to break up completely from this relationship.
During the relationship, verbal abuse and emotional blackmail was brought upon me, during times I refused to let him have his way.
After I had enough of his selfish acts. I decided to call it quits.
At first he would stalk me at my work, tail me during my outings, waited at the void decks.
Then after I refused to patch back with him, he started hitting me. He warned me that if he cannot have me, no other man will.
That even if I don't love him, he will have my physical body.
If I don't give in to his demands, he will have my face disfigured so no man will ever want to touch me.
It was a nightmare.
I went to work with bruises on my face and body.
Too ashamed to let my colleagues and family know, I lied about falling and accidents.
I had to meet up with him, everyday, out of fear, I did, for one long year.
After I fought back, he backed off. Found a china girl and got her pregnant.
The police can only do so much. I don't know much about the law back then. It seemed a difficult route to take , seeking protection from our justice system.
The questions they threw at me, stripped me of my self dignity.
I hope Petti would never have to go through what I did. -
-
Im sorry...Originally posted by jojobeach:Actually, I was trying to end that relationship, that's when the physical abuse started.
During the relationship, verbal abuse and emotional blackmail was brought upon me, during times I refused to let him have his way.
After I had enough of his selfish acts. I decided to call it quits.
At first he would stalk me at my work, tail me during my outings, waited at the void decks.
Then after I refused to patch back with him, he started hitting me. He warned me that if he cannot have me, no other man will.
That even if I don't love him, he will have my physical body.
If I don't give in to his demands, he will have my face disfigured so no man will ever want to touch me.
It was a nightmare.
I went to work with bruises on my face and body.
Too ashamed to let my colleagues and family know, I lied about falling and accidents.
I had to meet up with him, everyday, out of fear, I did, for one long year.
After I fought back, he backed off. Found a china girl and got her pregnant.
The police can only do so much. I don't know much about the law back then. It seemed a difficult route to take , seeking protection from our justice system.
The questions they threw at me, stripped me of my self dignity.
I hope Petti would never have to go through what I did. -
Sorry for what ? You arn't the culprit are you ? LOL.Originally posted by Zarks:Im sorry...
Anyway, it was years back, I was naive and clueless.
Glad I survived it, wanted to commit suicide but I didn't.
Whats over is over, I am a stronger person now because of my past. -
Yea, but my point is she shouldn't have slapped him just because he threatened her.Originally posted by jojobeach:Actually, I was trying to end that relationship, that's when the physical abuse started.
During the relationship, verbal abuse and emotional blackmail was brought upon me, during times I refused to let him have his way.
After I had enough of his selfish acts. I decided to call it quits.
At first he would stalk me at my work, tail me during my outings, waited at the void decks.
Then after I refused to patch back with him, he started hitting me. He warned me that if he cannot have me, no other man will.
That even if I don't love him, he will have my physical body.
If I don't give in to his demands, he will have my face disfigured so no man will ever want to touch me.
It was a nightmare.
I went to work with bruises on my face and body.
Too ashamed to let my colleagues and family know, I lied about falling and accidents.
I had to meet up with him, everyday, out of fear, I did, for one long year.
After I fought back, he backed off. Found a china girl and got her pregnant.
The police can only do so much. I don't know much about the law back then. It seemed a difficult route to take , seeking protection from our justice system.
The questions they threw at me, stripped me of my self dignity.
I hope Petti would never have to go through what I did. -
slap him again for me...
-
I agree with rainee.Originally posted by rainee:Yea, but my point is she shouldn't have slapped him just because he threatened her.
It's a question of proportionality. If my girlfriend (or anyone else for that matter) threaten to hit me, or pour boiling oil over me, should I hit her in response?
Hitting someone is always wrong. A girlfriend/wife-beater is no different than a beater of any kind. -
If i think he meant it and my gut feeling tells me that there is a threat, i will do anythings under the circumstances to protect myself. However, this is only for self-defense but hor does ur bf really means it?Originally posted by petti:am i wrong?
my boyfriend said he will splash the cup of hot water at my face, and i slapped him. am i wrong?
Some more, women don't have physical strength to protect themselves. Slapping the guy when he is angry isn't a good idea. What if he start beating u up or strangle you leh? Think properly.... before act on impulse. -
hmmm.. don't say things like you wanted to commit suicide. anyways. usually its the guy who commits suicide - ratio for guy:girl from WHO (world health organisation) is 1:0, 6:1 in most countries, 2:1 in others. girls tend to express suicidal intention to other people but never end up acting on it (luckily, most are not serious while some tell their friends/family), while guys usually do not express it at all, but end up acting on it. This is what is most dangerous cause when guys want to suicide, they keep quiet, whereas for girls, they tell people, so friends/families would help them.Originally posted by jojobeach:Glad I survived it, wanted to commit suicide but I didn't.
to the TS, i suggest you talk to someone. especially close friends or family. cause you don't want things to escalate and to be lonely in handling relationship problems like this. and if a boyfriend is the type who disrespects you, I suggest you look for someone new. also, hitting someone is always wrong, and by hitting him you are no different than he is. be someone stronger and do not succumb to rage or revenge. and as the saying goes: sticks and stones may break my bones, but not words. -
Originally posted by jojobeach:Actually, I was trying to end that relationship, that's when the physical abuse started.
During the relationship, verbal abuse and emotional blackmail was brought upon me, during times I refused to let him have his way.
After I had enough of his selfish acts. I decided to call it quits.
At first he would stalk me at my work, tail me during my outings, waited at the void decks.
Then after I refused to patch back with him, he started hitting me. He warned me that if he cannot have me, no other man will.
That even if I don't love him, he will have my physical body.
If I don't give in to his demands, he will have my face disfigured so no man will ever want to touch me.
It was a nightmare.
I went to work with bruises on my face and body.
Too ashamed to let my colleagues and family know, I lied about falling and accidents.
I had to meet up with him, everyday, out of fear, I did, for one long year.
After I fought back, he backed off. Found a china girl and got her pregnant.
The police can only do so much. I don't know much about the law back then. It seemed a difficult route to take , seeking protection from our justice system.
The questions they threw at me, stripped me of my self dignity.
I hope Petti would never have to go through what I did.
JOJO.. u r really a stronger women now but not all men are like ur ex-bf who is a total jerk. -
To jo,Originally posted by jojobeach:Rainee and Angel,
May I know if either of you ever been in an abusive relationship ?
I have.
The problem here is, when you walk away from his threats, he believes you are afraid and is not able to retaliate.
Believing that he can actually subdue you with such act, he will use it again the next time similar scenario arises.
To shut you up, he will tell you that he will hurt you, and you walk away, quietly.
It was until I finally fought back, that he stop. Because he knows there are consequence to pay. A repercussion to consider.
So, as much as you don't approve with fighting violence with violence, trust me, it is a necessary evil.
And yes, it all started with verbal intimidation.
So to Petti,
If you havn't done it yet, it is time you walk away from the RELATIONSHIP, not just walk away from him.
Wow! abusive relationship!!, never in my life, we should take control of our life not to get abused nor abuse others.
No doubts some guys i met had those manly egos so strong that they think they can classify gender discrimination and start to exploit gals by showing their machoism. I will alway tell these guys to go fly kite. I really pity those gals that fell into their hand for the sake of love, i do not comprehend what is there good about such guys abusing their gfs both mentally and physically.
On the contrary, some of these gfs just like some of my frens just love to be abusived by their bfs. Then when they hit the rock, they start to tell their poor stories to me, booo...they asked for it. Of course for some, i advised them to stand tall if not upright and fight for their own rights but do not resort to violence and causing bodily hurt just because your temperature raised.
The act of impulse can be fatal. Be cool ya, sister. -
hmmm...
Its almost sounding like a gang fight in here.
isis:
You're right. I personally think that women are more emotionally stable and less impulsive than men in handling themselves - which is why they shouldn't be the one making the same mistake we do many times - turning to violence.
jojobeach:
No offense, and I understand where you're coming from, but I just don't think physical violence is ever a necessary evil in any relationship situation. Ever. I find it odd that you consider it to be the right thing to do. The talk about consequence, and repercussions to consider - its just objectionable.
martinwolf:
I agree with you - the right thing to do would be taking the initiative to talk to someone about it. There are many remedy to consider before escalating something like a relationship issue to physical violence. Taking things into your own hands is not only reckless, but solves nothing in the end. -
I think you guys missed the point.
What I am trying to say here is, in the face of an abuser or bully, you don't back down quietly. You stare him straight in his face and make sure he knows what/who he is dealing with.
An abuser continues his bullying ways, always because he believes he can get away with it. -
there're all kinds of abuses i guess.
was your ex unhappy about something too? there's always a root issue