middle child syndrome
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i guess i knew this long ago, but only these couple of years i really felt bad.
i dunno if i am too paranoid over nothing, but i really want to say it out lar.
i have an elder brother, 20, i've got a younger brother, 10...me? i'm 18.
All these years, i always felt my mother prefer my elder brother, and my father, my younger brother. Even my granny prefer the two of them, but she more or les zhong nan qing nu, so i can accept (though not tt willingly).
I am in poly year 2 now, while my brother, 2 years older, is in poly year 1. this was because he retake his 'o's at one time and dropped a course at another. I had always felt i was the clever one in the family, my results were always better.
i admit tt if he really put in effort, it will be possible that he gets better results. but through out pri sch and sec sch, my results has always been better. eventually, at 'O's, i can get to jc, but i choose poly instead.
me and my elder brother were in the same secondary school, we have many common teachers and friends and i had always been categorised as the clever one btw the two. to me it does not make a difference, i mean so what if my results are bad, and so what if they are good.
but my mother had never commented anything on my results for my psle or 'o's...i know i do not need her to constantly praise me of being guai or what, but she is really like never even mention one lor. eventually, when i get results, i see liao, i sign my own report book, or i tear up my result slip for poly results.
but just a few days ago, i left my result slip lying around, and both she and my elder brother saw it. i know my results sucks, but frankly, i was pretty satisfied because i knew my abilities.
then my brother asked me, "ey, ur results so lousy, you not paiseh one hor", i din answer, but my mother did "ai-yah, she herself knows she lousy, so of course see the results wun feel anything one mah~"
trust me, it was not said as a joke.
then my brother said he got 3 bs and 2cs and 1d. i tried to explain why my results were not good (i dun even know why i tried to), they were like "is~~ it~~"...very sacastic lor.
tt was one specific incident, but usually, when i talked to my mother, sometimes she will talk to me, at others, she will just diao3 me...i mean i am just talking to her leh, she have to treat me that way one leh.
because she is working mah, so whenever possible, i will meet friends for dinner rather than lunch...just to get away from her.
i always thought i had tried my best to be a good daughter, but obviously she don't think the same, for she insist that my elder brother is more capable.
i am not exactly craving for attention lar, i just want to be treated fairly.
i happen to surf on a website just now, and i read about middle child syndrome... it says the parents usually dotes on the first child because, well, he is the first. they usually likes the last child, well, because he is the last.
there isn't a reason why the middle child is generally ignored, but i guess the reason is because we are not special enough...we are not the eldest, nor the youngest. we are at the same time "an elder and a younger". While the first child get all the attention, the last child gets all the privilage.
ai*yah, life sucks!!! -
i tink your family members prefer guys to gals...Originally posted by liyan:i guess i knew this long ago, but only these couple of years i really felt bad.
i dunno if i am too paranoid over nothing, but i really want to say it out lar.
i have an elder brother, 20, i've got a younger brother, 10...me? i'm 18.
All these years, i always felt my mother prefer my elder brother, and my father, my younger brother. Even my granny prefer the two of them, but she more or les zhong nan qing nu, so i can accept (though not tt willingly).
I am in poly year 2 now, while my brother, 2 years older, is in poly year 1. this was because he retake his 'o's at one time and dropped a course at another. I had always felt i was the clever one in the family, my results were always better.
i admit tt if he really put in effort, it will be possible that he gets better results. but through out pri sch and sec sch, my results has always been better. eventually, at 'O's, i can get to jc, but i choose poly instead.
me and my elder brother were in the same secondary school, we have many common teachers and friends and i had always been categorised as the clever one btw the two. to me it does not make a difference, i mean so what if my results are bad, and so what if they are good.
but my mother had never commented anything on my results for my psle or 'o's...i know i do not need her to constantly praise me of being guai or what, but she is really like never even mention one lor. eventually, when i get results, i see liao, i sign my own report book, or i tear up my result slip for poly results.
but just a few days ago, i left my result slip lying around, and both she and my elder brother saw it. i know my results sucks, but frankly, i was pretty satisfied because i knew my abilities.
then my brother asked me, "ey, ur results so lousy, you not paiseh one hor", i din answer, but my mother did "ai-yah, she herself knows she lousy, so of course see the results wun feel anything one mah~"
trust me, it was not said as a joke.
then my brother said he got 3 bs and 2cs and 1d. i tried to explain why my results were not good (i dun even know why i tried to), they were like "is~~ it~~"...very sacastic lor.
tt was one specific incident, but usually, when i talked to my mother, sometimes she will talk to me, at others, she will just diao3 me...i mean i am just talking to her leh, she have to treat me that way one leh.
because she is working mah, so whenever possible, i will meet friends for dinner rather than lunch...just to get away from her.
i always thought i had tried my best to be a good daughter, but obviously she don't think the same, for she insist that my elder brother is more capable.
i am not exactly craving for attention lar, i just want to be treated fairly.
i happen to surf on a website just now, and i read about middle child syndrome... it says the parents usually dotes on the first child because, well, he is the first. they usually likes the last child, well, because he is the last.
there isn't a reason why the middle child is generally ignored, but i guess the reason is because we are not special enough...we are not the eldest, nor the youngest. we are at the same time "an elder and a younger". While the first child get all the attention, the last child gets all the privilage.
ai*yah, life sucks!!!
but dont worry
u came out from your mother's womb..i'm sure she loves u too...
though she doesnt show it out i'm sure she still loves u...
for your granny..aiyah old ppl r like tat one...stupid mentality...
take life easy...it dont suxs
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Do not regret what you have done , instead regret what you wanted to do but have not done -
liyan:
I too, am a middle child. I have a elder sister who is getting married soon, and a younger brother in NTU.
It's normal to feel that way, but pls don't let this affect your judgement. U are young, too young to be in the society but old enough to know what's best for everybody. Use this to your advantage.
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Mi also 2nd child... Used to like that too, but in recent years I realize a lot of things that have change my view of my parents...
not doubting you, but sometimes this is the case, it's our attitude that makes sparks off everything... and further reading of such materials will just re-affirm your stand... that's being trapped in the Self-fulfilling phophecy... because of the way you think, your thoughts are trained to go this way.. and hence you become more sure of own view. and be feeling worse..
as I mention I'm not doubting you, but I just want to let you know, and hopefully you will start looking things at another angle before really think that you're having this problem... I mean it's just these few incidents that is sort of pretty major... but aren't there smaller or minor things in life your parents have done to show that they love you?? Haven't they bought you your favourite food or cook your favourite dish?? these are minor things which many of us tends to overlook?? even having to wake up early every morning to make breakfast for the family is a sign of love as well.
consider looking at other prespective... and not be a victim of the self-fulfulling phophercy, as it just brings unnecessary unhappiness
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()""() ************************
( 'o' ) Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear
(,) (,) =======================
(.)_(.) Beary Bear *Huggiez*...
~.~.~. For you, I care and love. -
YES... Second child among the 3 too... But I guess UNLIKE MOST other POSTs in here, I'm the 1st SON....
I used to felt much about being the MIDDLE CHILD.... But that was much YOUNGER... I mean... OK... So your parents DOTE on your ELDEST and the YOUNGEST... SO WHAT...?? I mean they're just HUMANS ok... It's a NORMAL BEHAVIOR.... TRUST me it's NOT their 2nd or 3rd time having the 2nd child BORN... It's their 1st... Even parenthood have to be LEARNT too...? Nobody's PERFECT ok..?
Take it EASY on such things ok...? You could have seen WORSE.... And from the way I see it, it can be WORSE than just a MIDDLE CHILD SYNDROME.... ANYWAY.... What if it IS? What if it ISN'T...? Just like Bear have mentioned above, nothing much could be WORSE than YOUR OWN MINDSET....
Be a STRONG child.... Life is FULL of COMPLICATIONs.... Don't let this one wash you down easily.... Just BE YOURSELF and BE TRUTHFUL.... You can EXPECT MORE from your future...? 
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In LIGHT I shall FEAR NOT. FOR what I AM is CUT so DEEP inside of ME.
I LIVE my FLESH and SOUL ONLY to BLEED for the OTHERS.
FEAR ME NOT. FOR I AM YOUR 'MASTER'. GIVE YOU STRENGTH. FOR YOU ARE MY 'ENEMY'.
DEVIL PHRASE I
I have no 'friends' nor 'family'.
I hold no past and see not future...
These are just samples of illusions....
I don't exist, but I shall live ETERNITY..... DEVIL PHRASE II
ße COOL, NOT s¢rr¥.... -
hmm..i am the last chold among all my sisters.. well, i dun think my sisters feel anyway like that being the middle child.. i think ur mum dotes on you, cos u are her child after all!
well, ren bi ren, qi si ren... so dun compare, just live with it, be a gd ger, try to interact wif your mum as much as possible.
all e best~
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its my life.. n i should be the only one that can choose how i want to live it!~ so, GET LOST!!!~
remember to support "Shen ah, qing ge wo duo yi dian shi jian.."! cityTv mon-thurs,9-10pm!!!~ -
liyan: get a job and move out
simple solution
i the eldest and my dad dotes on my younger sister, i got a job now so when one day the pressure is too much, i will move out -
I am not the middle child.
I am neither a parent.
But as the older sibling who generally does not have a seem to have a problem with life whatsoever (as perceived by the parent), when compared to a seemingly "weaker" sibling, parents will tend to neglect you.
Why? I guess cos you seem to be able to cope with what life is giving you. So they tend to divert their attention?
I used to think that I was just in general, disliked cos of how all relatives will praise my brother though he does not have better results than me. I was like some transparent thing floating around. I grew up with everyone telling me that "Children should be seen and not heard". My comments never failed to be ignored.
Things changed now that I am older. When I am the one giving the $ to my parents. Or maybe just about in the final years of my study that I felt that it changed.
Just take things in your stride. We cannot choose our parents but we can choose how we react to situations and what we make out of them. And practise what we call....selective filtering by ignoring whatever you are not interested in! Otherwise xin1 li3 bu4 ping2 heng2 leh! -
i am the youngest in my family
i know how my sis feel, cause she is like u
she cant study, and very "cat". and quite lazy
so my parents dont really like her, scold her quite alot
but i try my best to treat her good, but too bad, she dont really thanks when u treat her good.
haizzz
and there is a problem with the youngest child.
parents expect the best from u
they compare u with your bro and sis
so u have to be better then them
its very presure,
haizzz
there wont be the most happy child,
its really depend on parents.
something the only child is good
but too lonely
with sibblings, u have to compare with them
so u have to balance it
sometimes 'look open' dont really think too much
as for me, i believe in happy go lucky
hehe
so stay happy and dont think so much about sad things. -
don't b so depress, try talking to your mum again, mayb she wasn't aware of the way she treat u lor, don't bottle up your feelings or u will hav to suffer in silence in future. There shdn't b any secrets between parents & chidren, trust me, all parents love their child although sometimes they showed favourism... Take care, ok, anything, can email or call me...Originally posted by liyan:i guess i knew this long ago, but only these couple of years i really felt bad.
i dunno if i am too paranoid over nothing, but i really want to say it out lar.
i have an elder brother, 20, i've got a younger brother, 10...me? i'm 18.
All these years, i always felt my mother prefer my elder brother, and my father, my younger brother. Even my granny prefer the two of them, but she more or les zhong nan qing nu, so i can accept (though not tt willingly).
I am in poly year 2 now, while my brother, 2 years older, is in poly year 1. this was because he retake his 'o's at one time and dropped a course at another. I had always felt i was the clever one in the family, my results were always better.
i admit tt if he really put in effort, it will be possible that he gets better results. but through out pri sch and sec sch, my results has always been better. eventually, at 'O's, i can get to jc, but i choose poly instead.
me and my elder brother were in the same secondary school, we have many common teachers and friends and i had always been categorised as the clever one btw the two. to me it does not make a difference, i mean so what if my results are bad, and so what if they are good.
but my mother had never commented anything on my results for my psle or 'o's...i know i do not need her to constantly praise me of being guai or what, but she is really like never even mention one lor. eventually, when i get results, i see liao, i sign my own report book, or i tear up my result slip for poly results.
but just a few days ago, i left my result slip lying around, and both she and my elder brother saw it. i know my results sucks, but frankly, i was pretty satisfied because i knew my abilities.
then my brother asked me, "ey, ur results so lousy, you not paiseh one hor", i din answer, but my mother did "ai-yah, she herself knows she lousy, so of course see the results wun feel anything one mah~"
trust me, it was not said as a joke.
then my brother said he got 3 bs and 2cs and 1d. i tried to explain why my results were not good (i dun even know why i tried to), they were like "is~~ it~~"...very sacastic lor.
tt was one specific incident, but usually, when i talked to my mother, sometimes she will talk to me, at others, she will just diao3 me...i mean i am just talking to her leh, she have to treat me that way one leh.
because she is working mah, so whenever possible, i will meet friends for dinner rather than lunch...just to get away from her.
i always thought i had tried my best to be a good daughter, but obviously she don't think the same, for she insist that my elder brother is more capable.
i am not exactly craving for attention lar, i just want to be treated fairly.
i happen to surf on a website just now, and i read about middle child syndrome... it says the parents usually dotes on the first child because, well, he is the first. they usually likes the last child, well, because he is the last.
there isn't a reason why the middle child is generally ignored, but i guess the reason is because we are not special enough...we are not the eldest, nor the youngest. we are at the same time "an elder and a younger". While the first child get all the attention, the last child gets all the privilage.
ai*yah, life sucks!!!
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Hope to b your frd forever, Mike signing off