Should I keep my first for my wedding night ?
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Wow, touch also cannot ar?
Lolz
Actually horz... if I marry horz... register I happy liao...waste money lehz...and I dun like to see relatives and still must let them play me...but then horz..I is listen to wife de lah...she want wat, wat lor.. -
yea i get what you are talking about. but some guys really want to do it before marriage just for the sake of fooling around with the girl, after they get what they want then they run away. Because of this, we have to be more careful whom we give it to ma...cannot just give just because the guys want to 'sample" us first before getting married...Originally posted by spencer99:Actually hor.... your arguement above actually make it "justifiable" for the hubby to want to do it with the future wife.....
Can u imagine this scenario.......
you date a guy for 4 years... he didn't want to sxx with you. u wonder why and he said that he "respect" you and want tosave until marriage... yuo feel that he is so upright and pure and love him even more...
after marriage it turns out that he is im potent and knew it all along... there is NO WAY he can have a NORMAL sxxual r/s.
but he scared u reject him so didn't tell you all this time and make up some story about being "upright".
Will u be angry, hurt and feel cheated? will u divorce him?
From this view u can maybe understand some guys view on wanting to do it with their future wife.....
i.c.y -
I agree with you... and sad to say it is not just "some" guys... actually it is "many" guys....Originally posted by icyprincess:yea i get what you are talking about. but some guys really want to do it before marriage just for the sake of fooling around with the girl, after they get what they want then they run away. Because of this, we have to be more careful whom we give it to ma...cannot just give just because the guys want to 'sample" us first before getting married...
i.c.y
guys don't flame ME... I said MANY not "ALL", so you are actually the upright ones.....
but from "casino"'s example I don't think the guy is like that.
they together for 4 years and already ROM....Ceremony in 5 months and i guess they also prepare for marriage things (dinner, photos etc etc).....
so do u think he will F the future wife and then dump her right after????
Where got guys so stupid.... go through SO much and spend SO much time to F one girl and then dump her!
If the girl is still not sure whether the guy really love her or just want her body then she shouldn't even marry him. -
yea...but later what if the guy use this excuse early in the r/s? Said scared the girl cheat him, bla bla bla, so shud let him "sample" her first...Originally posted by spencer99:I agree with you... and sad to say it is not just "some" guys... actually it is "many" guys....
guys don't flame ME... I said MANY not "ALL", so you are actually the upright ones.....
but from "casino"'s example I don't think the guy is like that.
they together for 4 years and already ROM....Ceremony in 5 months and i guess they also prepare for marriage things (dinner, photos etc etc).....
so do u think he will F the future wife and then dump her right after????
Where got guys so stupid.... go through SO much and spend SO much time to F one girl and then dump her!
If the girl is still not sure whether the guy really love her or just want her body then she shouldn't even marry him.
i.c.y -
I know of a true story where a couple was together for more than 10 years.. on wedding night, they call it a quits.. my friend almost want to kill himself ... so what is four years ... not flaming but the girl got the right to her dinigty and the man should respect her for it... if don't do now but at wedding night is going to hurt the marriage, there is so much to say about the guy right ??Originally posted by spencer99:I agree with you... and sad to say it is not just "some" guys... actually it is "many" guys....
guys don't flame ME... I said MANY not "ALL", so you are actually the upright ones.....
but from "casino"'s example I don't think the guy is like that.
they together for 4 years and already ROM....Ceremony in 5 months and i guess they also prepare for marriage things (dinner, photos etc etc).....
so do u think he will F the future wife and then dump her right after????
Where got guys so stupid.... go through SO much and spend SO much time to F one girl and then dump her!
If the girl is still not sure whether the guy really love her or just want her body then she shouldn't even marry him. -
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If u read carefully what i state, i felt that the pt is not whether doing it now or after marriage.Originally posted by ORIGAMIST:I know of a true story where a couple was together for more than 10 years.. on wedding night, they call it a quits.. my friend almost want to kill himself ... so what is four years ... not flaming but the girl got the right to her dinigty and the man should respect her for it... if don't do now but at wedding night is going to hurt the marriage, there is so much to say about the guy right ??
The girl has the RIGHT to make her own decision, and the guy should respect her RIGHTS......
But the guy also had the right to know the truth of how the girl feels... if the girl is having hang ups because :
She scared pain
She think sxx is "dirty"
She cannot bring herself to do "it"
she don't feel confident with her body
her body is phsyically flawed in some way but is hidden if don't do
She got medical issues and cannot perform
Then she better let her future husband know and not hide behind a veil of chasity. Becauses such issues will still exist whether they do before or after marriage.....
And her future husband HAVE the RIGHT to know all these...... -
the question now is...when do the girl should tell all this?Originally posted by spencer99:If u read carefully what i state, i felt that the pt is not whether doing it now or after marriage.
The girl has the RIGHT to make her own decision, and the guy should respect her RIGHTS......
But the guy also had the right to know the truth of how the girl feels... if the girl is having hang ups because :
She scared pain
She think sxx is "dirty"
She cannot bring herself to do "it"
she don't feel confident with her body
her body is phsyically flawed in some way but is hidden if don't do
She got medical issues and cannot perform
Then she better let her future husband know and not hide behind a veil of chasity. Becauses such issues will still exist whether they do before or after marriage.....
And her future husband HAVE the RIGHT to know all these......
i.c.y -
I agree with your post.
But with regards to psychological sexual barriers, they're not so easy to confront in a clear and logical way. I think some people don't even know they're having problems till they try to have sex for the first time.Originally posted by spencer99:If u read carefully what i state, i felt that the pt is not whether doing it now or after marriage.
The girl has the RIGHT to make her own decision, and the guy should respect her RIGHTS......
But the guy also had the right to know the truth of how the girl feels... if the girl is having hang ups because :
She scared pain
She think sxx is "dirty"
She cannot bring herself to do "it"
she don't feel confident with her body
her body is phsyically flawed in some way but is hidden if don't do
She got medical issues and cannot perform
Then she better let her future husband know and not hide behind a veil of chasity. Becauses such issues will still exist whether they do before or after marriage.....
And her future husband HAVE the RIGHT to know all these...... -
i have a friend whose wife did not turn up on the wedding day. he ended up a bit mentally unstable.Originally posted by ORIGAMIST:I know of a true story where a couple was together for more than 10 years.. on wedding night, they call it a quits.. my friend almost want to kill himself ... so what is four years ... not flaming but the girl got the right to her dinigty and the man should respect her for it... if don't do now but at wedding night is going to hurt the marriage, there is so much to say about the guy right ?? -
true. some actually turn flaccid on the actual night.Originally posted by choco B:I agree with your post.
But with regards to psychological sexual barriers, they're not so easy to confront in a clear and logical way. I think some people don't even know they're having problems till they try to have sex for the first time. -
i beg to differ from some of the opinions here...
try not to use marriage as a platform or reason to justify sex or making love (whatever you may call it)... do it out of love, mutual love... its simple as that, thats why its called making love and not just sex... if you do feel for him/her and be sure you get the same feeling back from her/him... why not? so what if he's ur husband or wife? if you arent willing, it can still be deemed as rape even if you guys are married... dont use marriage as a licence to sex... its more sacred than that...
and about this thing called virginity... imo it does not matter at all... personally i dont care if i see blood from my wife at all... what matters is whether she is 100% devoted to me at heart... whats the point of taking your partner's virginity but yet having shadows of your partner's heart not faithfully with you? imagine this cooked up scenario: you had her first time... 2nd time... 3rd time... 4th time... 5th time... 7th time... wait wheres the 6th? would you know it? without trust and faith that her heart is solely with me, even if my girl's first time is with me i wont feel happy at all...
just think about it... if you feel you found that man, i wish you a blissful marriage for every day to come in your life... -
how come they call it quits, sounds very interesting, is it becuz they couldnt consummate the marriageOriginally posted by ORIGAMIST:I know of a true story where a couple was together for more than 10 years.. on wedding night, they call it a quits.. my friend almost want to kill himself ... so what is four years ... not flaming but the girl got the right to her dinigty and the man should respect her for it... if don't do now but at wedding night is going to hurt the marriage, there is so much to say about the guy right ??
i noe of a fren who couldnt consummate her marriage as she has prblems with pain and then later managed to consummate and she has a kid now
if you have problems with consumating then tell him, if not just tell him u want to wait and maybe you can go for some marriage/sexual seminar to help you improve your techniques etc.. am sure the anticipation wld be worth it -
Speaking from a guy, I say you keep it til the wedding bells. Your bf should respect your decision if he's truly loves you. Many guys will say, "If you really love me, you have to show it to me by giving it to me". That's bull, you know. If your bf is forcing you, maybe, you should give the relationship a second thought. Is he building it over the S thing? Even after marriage, you can reject any of his sex advances. But, do you think he's able to take no as an answer after your marriage? Give it a thought.Originally posted by Casino:People said I am conservative. My boyfriend who I am going to marry this September said that too. We quarrel over it often. He said I am too conversative and that not good for our marriage life ? Is it true ? I am 26. This is my 2nd relationship. My first relationship end because of that too. I trust my future hubby but I want to keep it for him on wedding night. But he claimed that since we have registered and is marrying soon, I should allow him to go futher then now what we are doing. Please advise ... -
Frankly I dont' have all the answers..... and i agree that it is not so easy to be rational and objective when it comes to sxx and relationships.Originally posted by choco B:I agree with your post.
But with regards to psychological sexual barriers, they're not so easy to confront in a clear and logical way. I think some people don't even know they're having problems till they try to have sex for the first time.
if the girl doesn't know that she has issues until after marriage when she do it for the first time...... then who can blame her right?
But if it is a known medical condition or visible physical injury or if she tried with an ex last time and found that she cannot "do it" mentally, then she should make this clear to the husband......
If you don't feel comfortable with e guy just tell him that u r not ready..... and maybe he might not be "the one".
this could be hard i know for a girl to tell her bf and for a guy to take............
but if the guy is impatient and leave u then at least u know he is the correct character.....
I know it is hard... but like i said i don't have all the answers.... -
yea it is hard...cos from stories I have heard, once the girl confessed, the guy will most probably think he gets a "rotten" good and feel like he doesn't deserve that...so dump her to find a better one...sad sia...and this might have a very deep effect on the girl, esp when she confessed after they have been together for some time le...it takes a lot of courage and trust...Originally posted by spencer99:Frankly I dont' have all the answers..... and i agree that it is not so easy to be rational and objective when it comes to sxx and relationships.
if the girl doesn't know that she has issues until after marriage when she do it for the first time...... then who can blame her right?
But if it is a known medical condition or visible physical injury or if she tried with an ex last time and found that she cannot "do it" mentally, then she should make this clear to the husband......
If you don't feel comfortable with e guy just tell him that u r not ready..... and maybe he might not be "the one".
this could be hard i know for a girl to tell her bf and for a guy to take............
but if the guy is impatient and leave u then at least u know he is the correct character.....
I know it is hard... but like i said i don't have all the answers....
i.c.y -
Hi Casino,
i admire ur will to keep it til marriage. not many women can do that, either bcos they give in to their boyfriends and/or bcos they feel there is nothing wrong and that they are actually enjoying it or under peer pressure -- all my girlfriends are doing it, so why not me?
for the latter, it is not their morals gone bad... it's juz a change of times where modern women now know what they want. if it is something that improves the relationship and brings the couple closer both emotionally and physically, why not?
so it is very subjective... if u r not ready, don't agree. communication is key. talk to ur bf and tell him that u r not ready but there is nothing wrong with u physically (or is there?). u juz want to wait, and stress that it is really important to u. -
Casino,
you can convince him it's infinitely satisfying to de-virginize his bride on the wedding night.
in the mean, if you don't have any objections, just blow him off... that should give him the relieve he needs.... -
For me marraige is for psychological need.. biological needs are secondary to me ... Guess I will repect the decision of the girl that i love... but that apply to me not sure about other
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died of exhaustion.Originally posted by spencer99:* the below statement is rated R and is only for matured audience *
marathon on the road and on the bed is no different... no matter how tired and breathless you are, you have to keep pushing and keep going until you REACHED the "FINISHING POINT".
whole day event very siong leh...physically not that much, but mentality stressful lah...months of planning just for one day. 101 things could have screwed up.
When the show ends, the last thing is to have Sex in the evening. 
unless u r planning for a quick one in the afternoon.
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Originally posted by kops21:died of exhaustion.
whole day event very siong leh...physically not that much, but mentality stressful lah...months of planning just for one day. 101 things could have screwed up. When the show ends, the last thing is to have Sex in the evening.
unless u r planning for a quick one in the afternoon. ......
No wedding planner? -
why waste $ to hire one...when you can do it.Originally posted by deathscythe99:
No wedding planner?
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Reason why I don't want a wedding dinnerOriginally posted by kops21:died of exhaustion.
whole day event very siong leh...physically not that much, but mentality stressful lah...months of planning just for one day. 101 things could have screwed up. When the show ends, the last thing is to have Sex in the evening.
unless u r planning for a quick one in the afternoon. ......
Planning for ROM is enough -
i have no ROM.....so choose a wedding dinner.....Originally posted by elindra:Reason why I don't want a wedding dinner
Planning for ROM is enough -
Spent alot on ROM on my relatives liaoOriginally posted by kops21:i have no ROM.....so choose a wedding dinner.....
Sometimes I wonder if we are getting married or my relatives are getting married.
From 25 ppl ballooned to 130 ppl cos of my grandma.